oh god the rape fog is back!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
