were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
