is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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