do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
