I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
