I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
