you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
