Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
