Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
