dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
