Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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