just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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