I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
