should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
