Kiss
Puke
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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