i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
