she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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