I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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