Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
