New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize