ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The best revenge is premature balding
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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