he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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