i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
