pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
