What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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