S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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