I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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