Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
