I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
