dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
