3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
