So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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