I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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