If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
