the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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