The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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