Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
