Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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