we have officially lost it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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