i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
