Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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