Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I touched a dick in church today
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize