dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
