maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
