his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
