one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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