Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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