Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
