i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
