And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize