The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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