I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
