im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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