Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this will be a night to untag.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize