I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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