Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
