Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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