Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
