eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize