I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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