Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
