NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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