I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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