There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
