Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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